Ever fantasized about being tied up or tying your partner up in the bedroom?
Over the years, BDSMwhich covers bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochismhas become increasingly popular.
One popular form of bondage is shibari, also known as Japanese rope bondage.
What is shibari?
Over the past decade or so, shibari has also become very popular outside of Japan.
Common misperceptions.
Others claim that shibari is a respected art form and spiritual practice in Japan.
Other misperceptions include the following:
Shibari is a spiritual act.
Despite popular belief, shibari isn’t a spiritual practice in Japan.
Shibari must be complex and difficult.
While it can be complicated, it really doesn’t have to be.
When it comes down to it, it’s about tying each other for shared fun and sensual delight.
It shouldn’t be intimidating or irritating," she says.
Shibari is all about sexual pleasure.
Shibari is violent.
“It’s meant to be enjoyed, not something that you suffer through,” he says.
“Trust is another vital element during shibari play between you and your partner.”
Shibari is just like other forms of bondage.
Japanese rope bondage and other forms of bondage are different types of rope play.
“Western rope bondage entails more of a functional role or tying someone up for the purpose of restraining.
On the other hand, shibari cares more about the aesthetics of tying someone up,” he explains.
“The former uses tying as a foreplay practice where couples get to have sex right after.
Meanwhile, each tie means something in shibari.
Benefits of shibari:
It promotes intimacy.
It’s easily and infinitely adaptive.
Like most things in life, there is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to shibari.
It can be empowering.
It can give you a healthy rush of endorphins.
How to get started.
If this is something you are truly interested in exploring, then consider connecting with your local BDSM community.
“Go to a class.
Better yet, go to a lot of classes!”
says Angie Rowntree, founder and director ofethical pornsite SSSH.
“Learning shibari and any kind of rope bondage takes commitment, time, and practice.
Give yourself the opportunity to learn about it in person.
Start with a few ties best suited to beginners, like the single- and double-column ties.
Graveris recommends finding a comfortable and spacious place that you and your partner are familiar with.
“Do not jump straight into shibari suspension,” he adds.
Tips & techniques to try:
Plan your aftercare.
“Preplan each of youraftercare needs.
Give plenty of time for aftercare.
Start with a cotton rope.
Many people are allergic to these as well.”
Start short, too.
Start with shorter ropes, as they’re easier to handle.
Always have safety scissors on hand.
Always have a set of safety scissors nearby when playing.
Sometimes knots simply get too tight or the person needs to get out fast.
Use sex positions for inspo.
(Here’s some sex position inspo, if you need it.)
Go for this classic technique.
Tie the right wrist to the right thigh and the left wrist to the left thigh.
If the partner is a bit more flexible, try wrists to ankles.
Additional resources to consider.
The bottom line.
Exploring shibari is an excellent way to bring you and your partner closer.
However, it’s super important to do your research before diving in.
And of course: Always keep your play safe and fully consensual.
