Listen without trying to “fix it.”
We often feel compelled to jump in or say something to fix things or change the subject.
Make space for your friend or loved one to talk about their experience.
Express empathy, encouragement, and support.
When you do respond, do so in a way that lets them know you’re listening.
Expressing empathy is letting them know you have an idea what they’re feeling.
It’s also important to let them know you care and are here for them.
For example, it can be helpful to say something like, “I’m here to support you.
If not, know that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
Help them find resources.
Imagine how it feels for someone who’s functioning at 20% with little motivation or concentration!
Connecting with mental health professionals can be an ominous task.
Help make things possibly less daunting for your loved one by identifying resources in their area.
A good place to start?
or N.D. Other potentially beneficial resources include a psychotherapist, depression support group, or acrisis line.
Know your role, and have realistic expectations for yourself within it.
What would you expect from your friend if you were going through a rough time?
Have similar expectations for yourself in this position.
You are not their therapist, psychiatrist, or doctor.
If you’re unsure as to what they expect from you, ask.
It doesn’t mean I don’t care, despite what depression might tell you.")
or “Be grateful for what you have.”
In our society, sadness, tears, and depression are often associated with “weakness” or instability.
Don’t minimize what they’re going through.
Even if you’ve had firsthand experience with depression, everyone’s experience is different.
At least you have your job/ family/ health, etc."
That will just lead to their feeling misunderstood, frustrated, and ashamed.
Don’t be afraid to ask if they’re suicidal.
(usually shorthand for “What’s the point in living?")
Often, being asked causes great relief for a person who’s been thinking about it.
Have you been thinking about killing yourself?”
Don’t go MIA or give up on them (without talking to them about it first).
Maybe you’re tired of them always bailing on plans or never calling.
These are all common experiences to supporting someone with depression.
If you’ve reached your limits, talk to them about it.
I don’t want to lose this relationship.
How can we find a way to make things more sustainable?"
Help them connect to resources so you’re not the sole support.
Most importantly, don’t neglect yourself in the process.
Supporting others can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.
(There are also ways tobe in a relationship when you both have depression.)
