Here’s what they had to say.
What does it really mean to be toxic?
First things first: What does it actuallymeanto be toxic?
9 signs of a toxic family member or household:
They’re abusive.
You feel depressed or anxious around them.
Another big tell of a toxic family member or household is how you feel around them.
They’re always criticizing or blaming you.
They’re manipulative.
They maygaslightyou,guilt tripyou, and/or be generally controlling.
Punishment is unwarrantedly harsh.
The household or family member can be unpredictable.
They’re dismissive of your needs.
Our homes ought to be spaces in which we can be vulnerable and express our needs.
There’s a sense of competition.
Toxic families can also breed an unhealthy amount of competition, particularly among siblings.
They’re controlling.
This can look like belittling someone’s choices, having unattainably high standards, and conditional love.
(Check out our guide onhow to deal with controlling parentsfor more information.)
How a toxic household affects your mental health.
From childhood onward, being in a toxic environment or around toxic family members will quickly take its toll.
“Being trapped in a long-term and unsafe environment can have really long-term impact.
How to respond to toxic relatives.
Nunez notes that toxic family members often want you to engagealmost like they get off on it.
But if that doesn’t go well, then disengage,” she says.
While this means the family member in question may still respond in a toxic way,youcan control howyourespond.
“It’s really important to empower oneself that you are in control.
You are in control of your own behaviors, actions, thoughts, and not the toxic person.
How to overcome a toxic family:
Set boundaries.
Empower yourself.
There’s also an important component around self-empowerment that we would be remiss to leave out.
Or, as another example, instead of “Can you not bring up politics around me?”
you would say, “I will not participate in political conversations.”
As Nunez points out, the only thing you’re free to control is you.
Seek outside help.
If there was ever something to see a therapist about, it’s unpacking toxic family dynamics.
Find a degree of acceptance.
Unfortunately, it leaves you between a rock and a hard place.
(Here’s more onhow to deal with a toxic familyif change isn’t possible.)
FAQs:
What are signs of a toxic family?
How do you deal with a toxic family member?
What are the effects of a toxic family?
The takeaway.
The bottom line is, everyfamily has some issuesbut not every family is actually definitively toxic.
If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.
They’re available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
it’s possible for you to also speak to them through a live private chat ontheir website.
