Ending a relationship with a narcissist is incredibly difficult.
Sometimes a triggering event will motivatethe narcissistto leave.
These are usually life-altering events for one of you.
They will:
What is a narcissist?
In short, it’s someone who believes they’re better than everyone else.
You were on a pedestal at the beginning of the relationship.
Now that the narcissist sees the relationship as broken, damaged, and endingit’s all your fault.
They say you’re too fat or too needy or too happy.
You’re unappreciative of all they have done for you.
You would be nothing without them.
You have single-handedly destroyed all the two of you have built.
You’re selfish and demanding.
Overnight you have become the most despised person in the narcissist’s life.
Obviously that is shocking, hurtful, insulting, and thoroughly unfair and wrong.
And the narcissist will certainly give a shot to convince you that you’ve made a mistake.
The narcissist will say, “You just misinterpreted what I said.
What about all the good times we’ve had together?
You look at the negative too much.
You don’t understand the stress I’ve been under lately.
You take things too personally.
You’re too emotional.”
Go back to that stupid family of yours and rot.
You’ll be sorry when I’m out in California and making loads of money.
I can find somebody who will really love me and always put me first."
If the narcissist still needs you, they won’t want you upsetting their plans.
If the positives don’t work to bring you back, narcissists default to their devaluing attacks.
Any complaint you have made about them will be turned around on you.
That’s just what the narcissist wants because itreengages you in the relationship.
However, narcissists can be extremely persistent in grabbing your attention.
If you have children together, these pleas for attention can go on and on.
Of course it was actually for the sake of his own egotistical need to be acknowledged.
Suddenly the narcissist says they understand why you are upset and ready to leave.
They appear to be taking responsibility for their behaviors.
They promise to go to therapy, do everything you ask, do things your way.
They are so, so sorry to have hurt you.
This is a tempting appeal for a caretaker who truly wants the relationship to work.
They seem genuinely sincere.
You breathe a sigh of relief and hope builds in you again.
Inevitably this hope disintegrates.
For a while, you think things are getting better.
How many times you’re willing to believe the narcissist’s false promises is up to you.
That is very distressful for most caretakers.
It can also work effectively to reengage you with them and bring you under their control.
Be prepared ahead of time that these unexpected meetings might occur.
They’re designed to keep you aware of the narcissist’s presence and emotionally off-balance.
Reveal their neediness
Narcissists appear to be strong and independent, but they are actually extremely needy.
You may find ithard to let goof taking care of the narcissist.
It can be exhausting and difficult for you to say no to these persistent requests.
Too often you get pulled back into interactions with the narcissist that really don’t benefit you.
