Remember that time your friend was dating that person you absolutely hated?
What is manipulation?
Psychological manipulation involves pressure to change behaviors or beliefs by applying deceptive or distorted tactics.
Common signs of manipulation.
Youre doubting your own reality.
The relationship is very emotionally intense.
You fear abandonment.
You have a gut feeling that somethings wrong.
Listening to your gut instinct is essential in assessing manipulation, Balestrieri explains.
You feel insecure.
They use your weakness against you, Balestrieri explains.
When you are vulnerable, they weaponize your fears and insecurities to feel superior.
They want you to depend on them and only them.
If you have no one else to turn to, its easier for the manipulator to control you.
Thats why attempts at isolation or extremecodependencecan be a sign of manipulation.
Limiting your resources and outside influences gives them control.
They keep comparing you to others.
Comparing you to others can be a form of manipulation, according to Balestrieri.
“Manipulative people thrive on the idea that people will compete for them, she explains.
Theyve managed to get your friends and family on their side.
Balestrieri cautions that its not just the bad traits we need to keep an eye out for.
She offers an example: The first person to write Happy birthday!
on your grandmothers social media page cant be a manipulative or abusive person, right?
She says manipulators may reach out to loved ones or close friends without telling their partner.
Manipulation in relationships.
Theres certainly a broad spectrum of experiences.
Selective manipulation can center on one recurring issue, and it can be annoying but innocuous.
Tactics manipulators use.
How to deal with a manipulator.
Establish boundaries.
Be sure to only set boundaries you are willing to sustain.
Identify what you want and need.
Then advocate for yourself.
Be willing to walk away.
You should leave any situation that causes you danger or harm.
Working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you make the decision that is right for you.
Heres ourfull guide on how to leave an abusive relationshipsafely.
Look for recurring patterns in your relationships.
Is manipulation a common theme in your relationships?
If so, McCoy recommends doing some reflection to figure out whats going on.
Explore past relationships and even revisitchildhood and adolescent relationships, McCoy suggests.
She says those same manipulative behaviors and patterns from your past can follow you into your adult relationships.
In such a situation, it is worthwhile to seek a licensed professional for individual counselling.
Work with a professional.
Dont allow shame or fear to keep you away from the skilled professional who can guide you to resolution.
Strengthen healthy relationships.
Reconnect with a support system outside of the manipulator.
Refuse to be emotionally isolated again.
Envelope yourself in stable and loving relationships with family and friends.
The healthier the hobby, the better.
Think, Zumba class or hiking group over mixology course or bar hopping.
Physical activity that engages with nature will help you reconnect with your intuition and release pent up emotional stress.
Stay true to your gut.
Stay true to your gut.
Know that love and mind games do not go well together.
Go boldly toward happiness.