As Mother’s Day approaches, you may be thinking about your own relationship with your mom.
“Don’t get pressured into disclosing the subject before you are prepared and ready,” Hallett says.
Be compassionate.
Have compassion for both yourself and your mom.
Showing compassion doesn’t mean you have to completely dismiss past hurts or difficulties, she explains.
One way to really start to understand your mother better is to ask her questions about her upbringing.
This may give you a better sense of her motivations and the way she responds to conflict.
Let your mom know that you simply want to get to know her better and understand your history.
Be open-minded.
Be open to understanding your mom’s perspective.
Even if she doesn’t understand yours, having an open mind can help you begin to move forward.
Actively listen.
Active listening is the opposite of that.
venture to understand her side of the story, even if you don’t agree with it.
Create realistic expectations.
All parent-child relationships are unique.
Just focus on how you’ve got the option to improve your particular relationship with your mother.
Be forgiving when you’ve got the option to.
make a run at remember that you’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way, too.
Accept that not all relationships can be repaired.
“It takes two to make repairs and to connect in a healthy way,” Hendel says.
and “Are you willing to be accountable for your hurtful actions?”
Furthermore, if a relationship is abusive in any way (physical, emotional, verbal, etc.
), Hallett recommends cutting off contact completely.
“We are allowed to…take a breakor enda relationship that is toxic.”
The bottom line.
If you’ve yet to repair your relationship by the time Mother’s Day approaches, show yourself compassion.
These holidays can be challenging for people who don’t have the desired relationships with their parents.
“Accept that you may have mixed feelings, and that is totally OK.”