Open and honest communication plays a huge role in the success of any relationship, particularly romantic ones.
Here’s why someone might be closed off and how to get someone to open up.
Why someone may be closed off.
This may be a reflection of how they feel about the relationship.
The tendency to be closed off can also stem from previous relational experiences or trauma.
Some people from conservative or collectivistic cultures may be less inclined to discuss personal issues, Bruneau adds.
“It’s uncomfortable for them to ‘go there,’ so they avoid it.”
How to get someone to open up:
Consistency is key.
Practice active listening.
Even if someone has trouble opening up, we all have a deep desire to feel seen and understood.
Ask questions…but not too many.
Finding the balance betweensensitive questionsand prying is crucial, as the latter can make your partner pull away more.
So be patient, and don’t forget to actively listen when you pose a question.
Demonstrate sharing and self-disclosure.
She recommends phrasing sharing and self-disclosure statements in a way that prompts them to offer their experience.
How have you been doing?"
Lean on nonverbals.
It sounds simple, but nonverbal cues go a long way in effective communication.
Let them know you value your relationship and ask what they need to feel safe.
If all else fails, you may have to ask your partner outright what they need.
I’ve noticed whenever we broach [insert topic], you change the subject.
Is there anything you need from me to feel safer sharing?"
(Keeping in mind previous points like nonverbal cues and active listening.)
Acknowledge your own desires.
We may have different boundaries, timelines, or even be subconsciously dealing with fears of abandonment.
