We hear it all the time: Relationships require you to be vulnerable with each other.
But despite being a bit of a buzz word, vulnerability is a complex concept.
Its also a characteristic that doesnt actually come easy or naturally to everyone.
What it means to be vulnerable.
This is risky because we can’t control how others will respond to us.
For babies, this is easy.
They’re effortlessly themselves.
They feel sad and they cry.
They feel happy and they smile.
They experience pain and they flinch, gasp, or whimper.
They’re afraid and they seek soothing and comfort.
Babies haven’t yet learned to hide themselves or what they feel.
We learn to hide ourselves.
When we feel sad, we laugh.
When we feel scared, we act indifferent.
When we feel jealous, we tell people we’re happy for them.
to get to show people your true self, you need toknowyour true self.
This starts with getting to know yourself behind your default attitudes, says Munoz.
Notice your knee-jerk reactions when something positive or negative happens.
She recommends checking out anemotions wheeland using it (frequently!)
to identify what emotions are coming up for you throughout the day.
Tell people how you really feel about things.
Once youre more in touch with your own emotions, start communicating them to others.
Practice telling people how you really feel about things, even if it seems silly, Munoz recommends.
Missing one of your old friends?
Send them a text and let them know.
Did your partner hurt your feelings with a small comment they made this morning?
Tell them honestly how it felt.
Really enjoying hanging out with your sister?
Accept the risk.
The truth is, part of being vulnerable is accepting the risk of getting hurt.
There’s always a degree of risk involved when you’re genuine and honest, says Munoz.
Being vulnerable doesn’t guarantee things will go your way in all your relationships.
Learn to practice acceptance for these moments and tolerance for the emotions that may come with it.
Work on healing your attachment wounds.
Thefear of abandonmentor getting hurt by others often stems from past experiences where that very thing happened.
The goal is to develop whats known as a secure attachment style.
Invite feedback from others.
When asking for feedback, be approachable and accountable, spiritual expert Shannon Kaiser previouslytold mbg.
Be upfront about the things you want.
Try answering every question with a completely true answer, she recommends.
The building blocks of vulnerability start with honesty.
Remember why youre doing this.
It’s not a tool of manipulation.
It’s a tool of liberation.
We do it for ourselves.
