You might feel more like roommates than lovers, more like a parent than a partner.
You might feel used sexually by your spouse, or you might feel like your partner rejects you sexually.
A sexually unfulfilling relationship is a quiet, insidious poison.
But it starts subtly.
Good relationships can end over bad sex.
It might be easy for us to smooth over these warning signs as “no big deal.”
But theyarea big deal.
Those tiny dissatisfactions and disappointments really matter in the long run.
If you’re seeing any of these warning signs, I suggest getting help now.
It’s so much easier to repair a relationship before it reaches its breaking point.
You crave “something more” with sexbut you aren’t sure how to explain it.
This is the very first sign, the first blip on the radar.
It doesn’t mean that anything is wrong, necessarily.
But it nags at the back of our minds in that small voice that is easy to shush.
Instead, open a conversation with your partner about your sexual desires.
Come from a spirit of playfulness and curiosity, not complaint and pressure.
For those with male partners: Your partner has stopped wanting to help you.
It’s quite a beautiful sight to beholdand even more incredible to experience.
If your partner seems distant and is more interested in drinking, watching TV, or workingtake heed.
The sexual health of your relationship isn’t just his responsibilityit’s yours too.
How could you take more responsibility for your own arousal and connection?
For those with female partners: Your partner has stopped touching you.
It’s your responsibility to make sex feel funand safeagain.
Learn a new method of sex that feels better for everyone and doesn’t involve any obligation or expectations.
Stop having round-the-bases sex and starthaving sex that women actually enjoy.
You have one-sided sex.
One-sided sex is sex that’s only for the benefit of one person.
I hear this all the timeand I’ve done it myself.
“Get the job done and move on with your day!”
It’s heartbreaking on both sides.
You have sex on a schedule.
We’re all busy.
It seems well-intentioned to create a schedule for sex.
With kids and work, who doesn’t love a planned date night?
I have certainly put “SEX” in the Google calendar I share with my partner.
This bang out of scheduling can be beneficial.
then I know they are headed for trouble.
If you’re having sex for these reasons, you’renotdoing it because you want to.
You’re trying to conform to some idea of what makes a “healthy” sex life.
This will ultimately lead to less intimacy, more performance anxiety, and less enjoyment.
You fight with your partner often.
Let’s get real.
Sometimes there is a real problem in the relationship that must be addressedand sometimes this problem warrants a fight.
But at least half the time, there’s no real problem when we fight.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Waitwhy are we even fighting?”
as you hurl a fresh insult in your partner’s direction?
(I know, it seems backward.)
The answer is not quantityit’s quality.
You feel exhausted, overworked, and irritable.
As women, we have too much to do already.
And still, there’s this sense of hunger inside that I can’t touch."
Because the kind of sex I haveand teachisn’t a chore I perform only for my partner’s benefit.
It’s a desire-based act I perform for my own benefit and pleasure.
If successful, you’ll feel enraptured with your partner, in love, and adored.
You’ll enjoy sex that’s mutually fulfilling (plusexplosive orgasms, no big deal).
