As time goes by, language has evolved to catch up with the vastspectrum of sexualityand relationship orientations.
These days, more and more people are feeling affirmed and locating parts of themselves withinnew labels and identities.
Take, for example, cupioromanticone of the more recent terms to be added to the lexicon of identity.
What does cupioromantic really mean?
Cupioromantic folks are often romance-favorable, but this isn’t always the case.
To understand the cupioromantic experience, it’s important to first understand that there’s a difference betweensexualorientation andromanticorientation.
They can coexist, but they’re not the same, Queen explains.
Sexual orientation focuses on who you find sexually attractive (heterosexual, bisexual, etc.).
Romantic orientation focuses on who you feelromanticallyinterested in (heteromantic,biromantic, etc.).
A person can also experience little to no romantic attraction to others at all, known as aromantic.
That’s where cupioromanticism comes in.
Sometimes they start out this way in the first place."
Licensed therapistRachel Wright, LMFT, notes that some people do take issue with the specific termcupioromantic.
Signs you may be cupioromantic.
“If a label isn’t doing that, let it go.
You’re not a can of soupyou don’tneeda label.”
You want relationship perks without the attraction.
You don’t get crushes.
Romantic gestures are a turn-off.
Romantic feelings aren’t something you want to (or could) get in a relationship.
You like romance…in theory.
You’re often misunderstood or accused of leading someone on.
So, it’s very easy for other people to accuse you of leading them on.
But your feelings are valid; you are valid," Graveris says.
Cupioromantic vs. aromantic.
The definitions of cupioromantic and aromantic may sound similarbecause they arebut they have their own unique properties.
Graveris says aromanticism is a spectrum (just like asexuality).
It applies to individuals who experience little to no romantic attraction or feelings for another person.
“Cupioromantic people may still crave or desire romance.
Some are even open to being in a romantic relationship.
That’s why cupioromanticism falls under the romance-favorable umbrella.
They can be into the idea of loving someone and being loved,” Graveris explains.
So, while cupioromanticism falls along the aromantic spectrum, it’s not the same thing.
And some aros think that these feelings aren’t valid," Graveris adds.
The aromantic spectrum.
As mentioned above, aromanticism exists as a spectrum.
A non-amorous person would not want a love relationship at all, romantic or otherwise."
These are separate spectrums, so there can be an overlap of many kinds, Queen adds.
How to support loved ones who identify as cupioromantic.
“Accept your friends and family members for who they are!
And even if it doesn’t look like what you’re used to, it’s no less valid.
“As an ally, it’s not our work to determine if something is valid.
If a friend is being mistreated, that’s one thing.
Convey that you respect them, their choices, and different styles of connection.
Once again, it’s the old “Different Strokes for different folks” point of view.
The bottom line.
Love and relationships can take infinite forms.
It really all comes down to what feels right to you.
If you feel like you could be cupioromantic, ask yourself if you feel romantic attraction toward other people.
