The lack of shared vision and values (transforming into passive-aggressive or just plain ol' aggressive interactions).
Are you dating casually, exclusively, or looking to keep things open, ethically non-monogamous?
Essentially, it’s addressing the punch in of commitment you are seeking.
Set the relationship up for success by having open and ongoing conversations about individual and relational needs.
Where can you both be flexible, and what needs to be a hard NO?
The “How are we paying for this?”
conversation
Finances make most people uncomfortable, which is why we often tiptoe around the subject.
Discuss how expenses will be split on dates, trips, etc.
Bring up budgets, debt, and saving goals.
Don’t assume, unless it’s been talked about and agreed upon.
Be clear on how you want to spend your money, both individually and within the relationship.
It usually has a look, a feel, a taste to it.
These big overarching themes and stories are at the core of our identity.
If these stories and values aren’t in alignment, the relationship is in a constant state of friction.
Are you looking for a traditional lifestyle or a nonconventional one?
Consider where you are willing to accommodate and what are non-negotiables.
At the core, how can you create connection through physical intimacy?
Remove the word “should” and focus on what works for you and your partner.
The “Beyond the love bubble” conversation
You and your partner exist beyond the cocreated unit.
While our romantic relationship is important, there are also other relationships that require attention and upkeep.
Having open and honest conversations about how time and energy will be balanced between these is key.
We need to acknowledge the importance of these instead of hiding from them.
Either way, it’s a win, and we get the information we need."
Let’s be honest: There won’t be.
We just need to double-check that we have the best conditions for the message to be well received.
Again, it doesn’t need to be perfectjust good enough.
Start by communicating the need for the conversation.
Preface it and frame it in terms of usefulness and potential growth of the relationship.
Set up a time and place for it.
Let them be a signal that this is important and needs to be given space.
Allow the anxious feelings to flow in and flow out.
Be curious
Be curious, ask questions, and listen.
We’re looking for exploration and understanding.
The takeaway
Remember that what matters is the process, not the end outcome.
The boldness to stand up and create the key in of relationship you want.
I like this one better: “Good relationships require intentionality; they don’t just happen.”
Having hard and uncomfortable conversations is part of this intentionality.
Give yourself grace as you navigate the complexities of these dialogues.
