Did you make the right decision to leave them?
Should you reach back out to attempt to rekindle what once was?
But whether or not that’s the right decision for you is a different story.
Just because you have the option toget back togetherdoesn’t mean it is the right decision.
Many factors need to be weighed when deciding whether you should jump back into the relationship.
Sure, being separated or apart helps you realize that you had a good thing.
However, it can also make you see just how unhealthy the relationship was through the time apart.
Should we get back together?
How to know if it’s the right decision.
From the wrong timing to cheating, there are hundreds of reasons that breakups happen.
How do your friends and family feel about your ex?
The people that support and love you probably have a strong opinion on your ex.
Whether you admit it or not, your loved ones may be abetter judge of characterthan you are.
It can be hard to hear their potentially negative feedback, but attempt to avoid getting defensive.
Try this: Choose three people in your life whom you trust.
Ask each of them the best and worst thing about you when you were with your ex.
Ask them to be honest and not hold backand be prepared to receive their answers without defensiveness.
Are you confident that you’re not just settling?
Most likely you know your ex like the back of your hand.
You know what they love and what they hate, and they know the same about you.
With that level of understanding each other, it’s not surprising you miss them.
Dealing with the loss of your relationship can make you feel like you are on anemotional roller coaster.
Some days you feel OK, and other days you might’t stop crying.
On those more turbulent days, you might be willing to do anything to make the emotions stop.
Remember that what you are feeling right now will not last forever, even though you think it might.
You are going through a season in your life that you will heal from.
Try this: Ask yourself what evidence you have that youaren’tsettling.
Whyareyou deciding to give your ex another chance at the relationship?
Make a list of pros and cons.
There is a tug-of-war happening in your body between your head and your heart.
When your heart speaks, it’s loud and painful.
Since this disagreement is happening within, it can be challenging to make the best decision for you.
This is why it can be helpful to write out a pros and cons list.
Writing out your answers will help you stay rational and logical in your decision-making.
Try this: Fold a blank sheet of paper in half.
During this exercise, focus on the process of what you are doing, feeling, and thinking.
Being in love with your ex isn’t enough to keep the relationship healthy.
Feeling love for your ex is easy, but showing theactions of loveis the hard part of a relationship.
Beware, too, of letting yourphysical needsget the best of you.
Try this: Think about how your ex showed you the action of love in the past.
What did they do that made you feel they loved and respected you?
What action did they take that showed you they cared?
Ask yourself this: Is your life better with or without your ex?
This can be a tricky question if you are feeling hurt and alone.
Be real with yourself about this: Did having your ex in your life improve you or hurt you?
Try this: On a sheet of paper, make two columns.
On the left side, list all of the things your ex did to improve your life.
On the right side, list all the things they did that made your life difficult.
Be honest with yourself, even if you don’t want to be.
Don’t hold back the truth, and write out everything you’re able to think of.
After you have completed your list, review it to see the differences.
Rules for getting back together with an ex.
Don’ts:
Do’s:
Deciding to get back together with your ex is a big one.
Also, remember that you are only responsible for yourself andyourlife.
Whatever decision you make should be what’s best foryou.
