“I love him, but I’m not in love with him.”
Although this statement is expressing a real feeling, it can mean many things.
It usually takes the client or couple several sessions for them to discover where it falls on the continuum.
There are five main things that this statement may really mean:
1.
“I want out of the relationship.”
Ending a relationship won’t ever be nice or easy.
They may earnestly care about their partner but simply don’t want to continue in the relationship anymore.
“I’ve met someone else.”
I’ve met someone else with whom I feel alive, like I used to with my current partner.
Every relationship will go through lulls.
“I feel emotionally closed off.”
Some people feel they’re no longer in love when there’s been a lot of conflict.
The thing is, everyone has difficulties and parts of their relationship that don’t work.
(Here are a few ways torebuild a relationship that’s falling apart.)
“Our sex life no longer excites me.”
Our sex life no longer excites me.
The sex has become dull, boring, or predictable.
Sometimes not having sex for a period of time can make people believe the love is gone.
(Here are a few ways to slowlybuild up sexual desireagain in your relationship.)
“I’m depressed.”
This one is harder to translate, but it’s a very real possibility.
Love but not in love: Is the relationship over?
Although this may prove to be the truth, it is more likely that it isn’t.
Think about what you do for a living.
Are you a professional, a student, an artist of some sort?
Can you remember when you had the thought that brought you to this place?
“I want to be a musician.”
“I just got the greatest job as a graphic artist.”
“Finally I’m an attorney, a kindergarten teacher, a business owner.”
Does it mean you put in your resignation immediately?
Probably notand it’s no different in our relationships.
We don’t stay in that high place all the time.
Some days are cloudy, some are stormy, some are gray, and sometimes the sun shines.
Sex can be rekindled, intimacy can be rediscovered, and depression can be managed.
