I was overweight or obese most of my life.
I only vaguely remember being normal size before the age of 6.
Everything I really knew about myself was centered on my size.
Here are a few perceptions and observations I personally encountered after my drastic weight loss five years ago.
People generally treated me with more kindness.
I lived in a neighborhood that had a small grocery store.
At the grocery store, the same cashiers always seemed to work there.
The cashiers pretty much always ignored me when I weighed 300 pounds.
I was never greeted with a Hello, how are you doing today?
Did you find everything OK?
Any fun plans for the weekend?
Even just saying Hi would have been nice.
I grew to dislike shopping there.
After I took the weight off, the cashiers were warmer and kinder to me.
These were the same cashiers as before, but they were friendly to the smaller me.
The only thing that changed about me was my size.
Men paid more attention to me.
About nine or 10 months into my weight loss, I noticed a lot of unwanted attention from males.
For many months, I felt like I was almost being stalked and I had to guard myself.
Being obese kept men away from me, mostly.
I was familiar with hearing farm animal sounds projected from cars as they drove by on the street.
This was much different from hearing catcalls.
Some people viewed my weight loss success as a threat.
They supported me in being less fat, but didnt support me in wanting to get fit and lean.
I became a threat to some people.
Usually these remarks were masked in inauthentic concern for my health and well-being.
I started to question if I was going too far and wanted too much for myself.
Eventually, I realized that people will support you only until you become a danger to their egos.
So I lost some relationships during this time in my life.
I felt like a stranger to myself.
My old mental programming still thinks of myself as 300 pounds.
Ive only had a handful of romantic relationships in my life.
The fat version of me settled for guys who showed interest, but who I didnt really like.
I married my first real boyfriend when I was 20, and he was a total loser.
That marriage ended quickly.
I also dated a boy who was slightly younger than me and lacked ambition.
We had nothing in common, but somehow stayed together two years.
After I lost my fat, I lost that boyfriend.
