But for those of us in relationships, secret-keeping can have serious and damaging negative consequences.
Why people keep secrets in relationships.
There is a difference between privacy and secrets in a partnership.
That said, even the smallest of secrets can affect relationships.
The secrecy deprives family members of the information that could have enabled them to act.
People keep secrets because of fear that their partners won’t be able to love them through the truth.
The relationship has already suffered damage in the form ofrestricted emotional communicationand continuing deceit.
How keeping secrets can ruin your relationship.
Identifying and understanding how keeping secrets can backfire on couples is the first step to disrupting the behavioral pattern.
Here are five ways secrets can undermine your relationship:
Creates a barrier to connecting.
Fuels an atmosphere of mistrust in a relationship.
When a partner severs trust,rebuilding it is challenging.
Resentment and suspicion are hard to overcome.
The constant need for reassurance doesn’t help build trust; it just placates fear.
Impedes the ability to communicate naturally.
When people keep secrets, they impede communication between them and their loved ones.
This can create stilted, inorganic conversations because so much overthinking is involved to ensure not revealing the lie.
Understandably, this becomes frustrating for the deceived partner, which drives a wedge between them.
Deceit begets deceit.
Once deceit becomes a part of a relationship, it begins to erode the foundation of a partnership.
you could become physically sick.
In more extreme cases, people may even turn to substances to numb themselves to the discomfort they experience.
The risk of substance dependence or abuse will further alienate the secret keeper from their partner.
Breaking the pattern of keeping secrets.
Be straightforward, but kind and compassionate.
Hopefully, it will encourage you tobe more truthfulin your future relationships with loved ones and family as well.
