More of a well-kept secret, though, are the five apology languages.
The 5 apology languages.
Thefive apology languagesare expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, genuinely repenting, and requesting forgiveness.
The first apology language, expressing regret, is the simple act of saying “I’m sorry.”
This may be your apology language if:
Accepting responsibility.
The person should be able to explain what they did wrong and why it was wrong.
Making restitution.
The third apology language, making restitution, includes finding a way to correct the situation.
Genuinely repenting.
The fourth apology language, genuinely repenting, requires a change of behavior.
With this apology language, saying sorry is not enough.
“Engage in problem-solving.
Don’t make excuses.
Make a better, specific plan for change,” Thomas says.
There should be a sincere drive to do better.
Requesting forgiveness.
Saying “I’m so sorry for letting you down.
Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”
places the power back into the hands of the hurt party.
Other frameworks for apology.
Other researchers, activists, and experts have outlined other frameworks for apology and restitution.
This accountability process has gained some popularity in recent years as a way ofmaking amends for racist behavior.
“That also means not shying away from others when we mess up (which we will!).
When to apologize.
In general, if you’re questioning whether or not to apologize, you probably should.
Finding the right time depends on the person you’re apologizing to, though.
Still can’t figure it out?
“If you don’t know what happened to cause pain, then ask.
Don’t be afraid to ask what’s wrong.”
