In some families, the child’s voice even takes over.
With this, however, there has been an exponentialrise in anxiety disorders in children and teens1.
Secure boundaries set by the parent (not negotiated by the child) reduce anxiety.
Predictability reduces uncertainty, and that reduces anxiety.
Children have undeveloped prefrontal lobes.
According to child developmental psychologist Jean Piaget, “magical thinking"predominates in children aged two to seven.
This “magical thinking” is what makes children amazing and so full of wonder.
School-aged children from eight to eleven years of age are largelyconcrete in their thinking.
This is why elementary kids love rules and often like the world to be black and white.
After all, structure ensures predictability and security.
It is only after age 12 that children begin to develop moreabstract and nuanced thinking.
This is why adolescence is a more appropriate time to experiment with rules and limits.
Parental limits disrupt narcissism and entitlement.
Narcissism is normal, and is developmentally appropriate in small children.
Understanding the meaning of “limits” allows kids to be more connected to the real world.
We all learn from struggling a bit.
Struggle is how we mature and learn mastery of new things.
They also parents to remove struggle and fix their disappointments (sometimes calledsnowplowor helicopter parenting).
The takeaway.
They will have more maturity, resilience, adaptability, feelings of safety and connection if you set boundaries.
