And defensiveness is known as one of the"four horsemen" that predict divorcefor a reason.
Of course, nobody’s perfect, and that means sometimes we’re going to ruffle some feathers.
So, it’s important to learn how to handle defensive impulses when you find yourself in this situation.
Recognizing defensive behavior
Let’s be honestwe’ve all been defensive before.
Earnshaw adds there are actually very few scenarios in which we truly need to defend our point of view.
“Multiple realities exist,” she notes.
Can you truly appreciate their concerns and, further, focus on truly understanding them in this conversation?
If so, you’re already on the right track.
And with trust, we open up more space for discussion," Earnshaw explains.
Even if some of the criticism seems unwarranted, there’s more than likely something to take responsibility for.
It was wrong."
(In fact, it’ll probably just upset the other person more.)
“We all need to be able to receive criticism,” Carroll writes.
