Ten years ago, I was working as a full-time critical care nurse in the cardiovascular intensive care unit.
I found solace in french fries and doughnuts.
I was overworked, overweight, and overwhelmed.
I was at a loss for words.
I knewwhatI wanted to bea good mother and a good nursebutwho?
I didn’t have a clue.
The next morning, on my drive home, I kept pondering the woman I wanted to be.
The single word that came to mind surprised me: worldly.
I didn’t own a passport.
I’d never been on a plane in my adult life.
I grew up in a trailer in rural North Carolina.
But none of that mattered because I wanted to be worldly.
The City of Lights changed me.
Walking around in the Luxembourg Gardens, I started noticing how people seemed to be moving through their day.
There were people lounging reading books.
There were lovers kissing on a bench, surrounded by flowers.
There were moms playing with their children.
In that moment, I thought, “These people are french-kissing life.”
They weren’t waiting until they had more money or more time.
They were tending to the everyday details and living the life they wanted now.
Here’s what Paris taught me.
Fun and relaxation are just as important as hard work.
As a nurse, I kept myself so busy that I had very little time to enjoy life.
I was the first one to sign up for a 12-hour shift.
If it wasn’t work, it was any number of other obligations that felt like an emergency.
Even folding mountains of laundry took priority over doing something for myself.
Contrary to what you might think, the French aren’t lazy.
They do work hard.
Over time, it became clear what I wouldn’t sacrifice to get more done.
Now I make lounging on the sofa with a glass of wine reading Rumi part of my nightly routine.
You’ll always find me in a bubble bath between 8 and 9 p.m.
These simple pleasures are the beautiful moments that make up my life.
Embracingnot avoidingfood is the key to slimming down.
Before Paris, I tried every diet in the book.
From South Beach to raw foods, I became obsessed with losing the weight that always came back.
No matter what size I was, I was miserable.
The French take a different approach.
Not unlike Americans, the French woman’s day revolves around food.
But rather than obsessing over how to avoid it, she embraces it.
She’s excited about what she’s going to pick up at the market to prepare for the evening.
She doesn’t attempt to control what she eats.
She simply slows down and savors it.
and am now a healthy size 6.
Savoring is one of the most slimming things I could have done.
I’ll enjoy fresh vegetables from the farmers market and haute-couture chocolate.
I embraced my life for what it was.
Women started to see a change in me, started asking for my advice.
I eventually quit my very secure job as a nurse and started my coaching practiceFrench Kiss Life.
My life looks and feels completely different from that girl’s who landed in Paris a decade ago.
It started with one simple question: Who do you want to be?
As I began to live out the answers, the quality of my life began to change.
More importantly, I began to change as a woman.