The real problem is when it becomes a habit or an unhealthy pattern develops.
What is self-destructive behavior?
They can be physical actslike drunken driving or self-harmbut they can also be emotional.
Examples of self-destructive behaviors.
There are plenty of variations of self-destructive behaviors, from obvious to subtle.
Here are some examples, according to our experts:
What causes self-destructive behavior?
Lorz describes self-destructive behaviors as being the product of eithermisguided attempts at self-protectionor moments of dissociation.
It’s not that they enjoy negativity; it’s just that it’s familiar," she says.
Additionally, self-destructive behaviors can be symptoms of many mental health issues, according to Manly.
The key to preventing self-destructive behavior is to understand it, Osibodu-Onyali says.
Behaviors are self-destructive when the pattern is consistent."
Track the behavior.
It’s often helpful to nonjudgmentally track the issue.
When we notice what triggers the self-destructive behaviors, we become more aware.
“When you are doing them, are you avoiding other things?
What do you do to avoid and distract from stressful, difficult, or unpleasant things?”
Lorz says it’s likely you’re not hungry but stressed or anxious about the emails in your inbox.
“Mindless eating can be self-destructive.
Address the root cause.
Kotkin-De Carvalho says understanding the underlying factors contributing to your self-destructive behavior is crucial for breaking its destructive cycle.
Similarly, journaling about minor self-destructive behaviors can often be highly illuminating, according to Manly.
Delay acting on impulse.
As an immediate stopgap, halt self-destructive behavior by simply delaying action.
Develop other, healthier coping mechanisms.
Be proactive about learning and practicingcoping skills and habitsthat stop self-destructive behaviors before they start, Lorz says.
Get an accountability buddy.
While this may feel scary, it’s also one of the best ways to get perspective.
It creates a bridge of connection that is empowering and healing.
Can you remind me of that when I go to order a second or third drink tonight?
I want to be ready and alert for my presentation in the morning.”
How to handle self-destructive behavior in others.
This helps you to avoid getting overwhelmed or getting drawn into any negative cycles.
To start, she recommends taking the time to assess your own needs before confronting your loved one.
Ask yourself what you better feel safe and respected in this situation.
When doing so, Manly notes taking a gentle approach is best.
“Avoid criticizing the person or allowing yourself to get pulled into an argument,” she says.
Regulating your own emotions is essential here, she adds.
When to see a professional.
FAQ:
How do you fix self-destructive behavior?
If youre dealing with self-destructive behaviors yourself, there are several things you might try on your own.
A great way to get started here is by writing it all down in a journal.
you might also get yourself an accountability buddy to help you along the way.
However, if your self-destructive behaviors start feeling like too much to handle alone, consider seeking expert help.
If you’ve noticed self-destructive behaviors being displayed by someone you care about, then try having a conversation.
Sit your person down and bring up the issue in a gentle way, while maintaining your own boundaries.
What’s the root cause of self-destructive behavior?
The root cause of self-destructive behavior will vary from person to person.
The takeaway.
The key to preventing self-destructive behavior is to understand it.
Either way, remember that self-destructive behaviors don’t define you.
There is hope for healing anddeveloping healthy habitsthat will lead you toward becoming the best version of yourself.
