But the reality is, codependency is unhealthy and unsustainable.
What is codependency?
What is a codependent relationship?
A codependent relationship comes up whenever each partner forgoes responsibility for themselves.
For example, one partner might be a caretaker financially and a taker emotionally or sexually.
(Codependent relationships aren’t always romantic, though: there can also becodependent friendshipsand similarlyenmeshedfamily dynamics.)
You depend on your partner to feel okay.
You don’t feel at ease when you’re together.
You feel stressed around your partner, and you often feel irritated and frustrated with your partner.
You are more relaxed around others than around your partner.
You’d do anything for your partner’s approval.
You don’t feel good in the relationship.
You’re not feeling turned on to your partner.
You don’t have fun together, and there isn’t much affection.
You feel lonely with your partner, and you also feel alonethat your partner doesn’t have your back.
There’s a lot of tension in the relationship.
You feel stagnant and stuck in the relationship.
You don’t know how to bring life back into the relationship.
You feel that you are settling, and that perhaps you are with the wrong partner.
Symptoms of codependency
Taker symptoms:
Caretaker symptoms:
What causes codependency?
In other words, codependency is triggered by an underlying sense of self-rejection and self-abandonment.
You have no control over your partner changing, but you have total control over you changing.
There is a huge difference between trying toget loveversus wanting toshare love.
When one person changes the codependent system, the whole system changes.
