When you want something in a relationship, its good to exercise honesty.
At its worst, it can de-anchor you to a point where you no longer recognize yourself.
What is manipulation?
Manipulation is inherently unfair and, although often subtle and indirect, manipulation can also be very explicit.
In the process, you may lose yoursense of selfwhich prevents you from recognizing the psychological disorientation.
Stages of manipulation.
There are several common types or stages of manipulation you’re gonna wanna know.
As well, not all relationships involve manipulation, and not all manipulators follow these exact stages.
However, manipulation is a serious problem because your partner is controlling your actions and decisions without your consent.
But above all, she suggests keeping a journal as soon as you realize something is off.
Trust your gut when you feel manipulated, and then write about the experience in a journal.
Youre feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, says clinical psychologistAnnia Raja, Ph.D. ## You feel the need to apologize for everything.
If youre assuming responsibility even when youre not in the wrong, this indicates a bigger problem.
Your expectations feel too high.
Its normal to want your partner to show up for you the way you hope.
If youre in a relationship with elements of manipulation though, the opposite will happen.
Instead, Manly says you may start to harbor doubts, wondering if your expectations are too high.
The end result is you pulling back the request and believing you are too much.
You’re losing your community.
In healthy relationships, they want to be a part of your inner circle.
On the flip side, they may use your friends and family against you if theyre manipulative.
They may charm your loved ones with the intention of getting them on their side.
Your worth is at an all-time low.
When youre being manipulated, theres no room for what you want in the relationship.
Its all about your partner, their needs, their desires, and what theyre comfortable giving.
After a while, it can feel like nothing you care about matterseven you.
Manly previously mentioned, the manipulation of your worth could be more explicit.
Dont worry, I love you exactly as you are.
The relationship has a double standard.
From their perspective, they can do no wrong.
They demand you pay attention to their inclinations and needs, but consistently disregard yours.
Its all about them and their needs.
Manipulative behaviors dont just take place romantically, too; these qualities can also occur in friendships.
Outside of that, its crickets.
The relationship is tilted in their favor.
Its all about your partner and their comfort levels.
Therelationship feels one-sided, leaving you feeling drained and exhausted.
Here are some examples:
How to overcome manipulation.
When manipulation goes too far, you may question yourself instead of recognizing the root of the problemyour partner.
Overcoming manipulation takes a combination of self-awareness, other-awareness, and strong boundaries, Manly says.
Manly lays out a potential scenario.
I realized Im paying for most expenses, and that doesnt feel right to me.
In the future, c’mon ensure you have cash with you before we head out.
Otherwise, Ill plan on staying in.
FAQ:
How do manipulators choose their victims?
If you grew up ignoring your needs, you may prioritize keeping others happy over standing up for yourself.
These childhood patterns could carry over into your other relationships.
How to overcome manipulation?
When necessary, you may have to consider ending the relationship if theres been no improvement.
The takeaway.
Healthy relationships are predicated on mutual love, respect, and trust.
Theyre not seeing you for who you are, but what they want you to be.
