That’s truly the only way you’re going to get a definitive answer.
Or does he (or his friends) laugh at the idea of him being in a real relationship?
And if the subject of how he feels about relationships hasn’t come up yet?
Ask him directly and see what he says.
He dodges or brushes off any conversations about defining the relationship.
You shouldn’t be the only one trying to figure out where things are going.
He’s pretty vague about what he’s looking for.
He says he “doesn’t do labels.”
Most of his previous relationships have been short term or undefined.
He’s still talking to other people.
Now, take this one with a grain of salt.
He won’t make long-term plans.
He’s not interested in meeting your friends or family.
He only wants to hang out late at night.
Late-night hangouts are often associated with casual sex.
He texts a lot but never actually meets up with you.
If neither of you has suggested getting together in person yet, make the first move andask him out.
His texting is pretty lazy.
“There is no smiling in the language, no winking, no raised eyebrow, no blushing.
He doesn’t put effort into getting to know you more personally.
Does he ever ask youquestions about your personal lifeor your inner world?
Does he ever seem interested in your job and career goals?
Your friends and family?
Your wounds and traumas?
Or does he sort of just nod along when you talk about that stuff and then change the topic?
Likewise, take note if he never seems to remember details about you or your life.
He’s not really lettingyouget to knowhimon a deeper level.
Does he talk about his feelings with you?
Does he share much about his personal life, his dreams and aspirations, his fears and past hurts?
He’s not that affectionate.
He doesn’t make you a priority.
People will make time for the things and people they care about.
He isn’t pushing the relationship forward.
“If they want to be in a relationship with you, they will show up.
(Here are somesigns your relationshipisgetting more serious, by the way.)
You’ve been talking for a long time without any changes.
He says he’s not looking for anything serious.
What more do it’s crucial that you hear?
When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?
It’s important to remember that people can enjoy connecting with each other without expectations for future commitments.
Should I cut him off?
You don’thaveto cut off someone just because they don’t want to be in a relationship with you.
Others only like to date someone when they know there’s long-term potential.
Ask yourself:
The bottom line.
When in doubt, ask directly.
I’m interested in that.
What about you?”
Then see what he says.
Yes, this requires some vulnerability.
