“Often, people use breakups as evidence that they are unloveable.”
That’s OK. No need to get down on yourself about it.
Instead, celebrate those little wins.
But (and this is important!
“They’ll be able to help you take steps toward healing.”
If cost or location is a barrier, you might try a therapy app likeTalk SpaceorBetterHelp.
Invest in your physical health in other ways
“Start small,” says Shane.
“Commit to flossing four times a week.
Decide to eat one healthy meal a day.
Move your body more.”
“Those bonds can be incredibly nourishing.”
But be cautious about sharing every single thought about your ex that enters your brain with your pals.
Trust; the friendship will be better for it.
Your move: Ask your pals to hang.
She recommends sending a text like:“Hi!
Do you have any plans Tuesday night?
I’m going through a breakup and could really use your support and company right now.”
Release judgment
“An important part of breaking up is not judging yourself,” says Kahn.
When a judgmental thought enters your mind, acknowledge it, then replace it with a positive thought.
For instance, “I am doing the best I can.
And I am doing great.”
Or, “I am in the process of becoming the best version of myself.”
Write it out
Ah, yes, page processing.
“Writing can be one of the most sacred and healing spaces in one’s life.
Do abreathing exercise(like box breathing), he suggests, then get scribbling.
So you might try writing on the following prompts:
Do math
No, really.
Plus, it lets you develop a new skillset!
And that’s when reading books featuring characters going through heartbreakcanbe helpful.
ThinkBluetsby Maggie Nelson orTiny Beautiful Thingsby Cheryl Strayed.
It’s also possible this keeps you from moving forward.”
A fan oferotica, she recommends Literotica.
“It’s one of the great treasure troves of the internet,” she says.
If one-handed reads aren’t your thing, try out an actual fantasy genre novel instead.
But it shouldn’t!
“But making time to be with and explore your body, in any way, is important.”
Go to a sex shop
According to Stubbs, this is a post breakup double whammy.
“It’s retail therapyandan investment in your sexual self,” she says.
Otherwise, just get the toy you feel most drawn toyou’ll be more likely to use it.
Have sex with new partners
That’s right!
Despite what you might’ve heard, rebound sex isn’t inherently bad.
Shane assures us, “It’s not petty.
It’s self-care.”
I just wanted to let you know that I unfollowed you on Instagram.
Until I heal from this breakup, I need a little space from your content.
Hope you understand."
But that doesn’t mean throwing it all into a firepit and lighting it up.
“The goal isn’t to be vindictive.
Otherwise, donate it to charity.
But don’t linger in this negative thought place fortoolong.
Listen and watch something else.
But that day is not today.
So, thank you,next.
The good news is, according to science,eventuallyyou will.
Instead, take comfort in knowing that you will not feel like this forever.
