Love is one of the most universal human experiences of allyet it’s still not easy to define.
Often, you just know it when you feel it.
A simple glance at the person may cause strong feelings of affection andattachment.
(That’s why they call itunconditional love.)
“Make an effort to offer your undivided attention to your partner,” Pataky says.
Instead, remain “fully connected and engaged in the activity or moment together.”
“It sounds so simple, and yet we don’t do this enough,” Hsueh says.
“You don’t need an elaborate speech, and you don’t need to be the most eloquent.
Chances are, your partner likes engaging with you, and that includes talking to you!”
“We sometimes forget to check in with our partner or fail to respond to their attempts to connect.
Over time, this can create serious damage to the relationship.
It can be as simple as asking, ‘How was your day?'”
These types of gestures are special because they’rethoughtful.
They show that you’re paying attention.
“The key here is to be observant,” she says.
It can also be very practical and small, Pataky says.
These lovingly helpful acts are called “acts of service.”
Even doing the laundry can be an act of love!
This can include hugs, holding hands, spooning, playing with each other’s hair, or massage.
It all depends on what your partner prefers.
“It’s important to discuss with your partner what physical touch they enjoy.”
But doing an activitytogetheris a useful way to show your love for each other and build intimacy.
Cook a new meal, try a new workout, or just go on a walk together.
Quality time can also involve simply hanging out with your partner at home and chattingno phones allowed.
The important thing is to set aside a specific time to do somethingtogetherthat you bothwill enjoy.
Sharing these experiences brings couples closer together,research shows1.
Write it down
Sweet words are lovely, but ahandwritten note?
That’s something that can be kept forever, a special memento of your love.
“Writing to your partner involves a lot more than just writing.”
It also requires attention to detail and vulnerability, she says.
“It takes more time, energy, and just overall effort than a text.
Writing your love is an exercise in thoughtfulness!”
Contrary to what the movies may make you think, surprises dont have to be elaborate or over-the-top.
It could be as simple as a surprise home-cooked dinner.
Yes, there areloving ways to have an argument.
The Gottman Institute’s research found that successful married couples practice a few specific behaviors during conflicts.
Also, avoid making generalizations like “You always” or “You never.”
It’s also important toavoid shutting down, becoming defensive or being combative.
Practice accountability
The reality is that, with many relationship conflicts,bothpeople play some role.
Love means taking responsibility for your own actions.
Accountability goes both ways, too.
If you love your partner, you oughta hold them responsible when they mess up.
It doesn’t serve anyone well to bottle things up for fear of hurting someone’s feelings.
Every person on the planet is unique, and so is every relationship.
One helpful place to start this conversation is to figure out your partner’s “love language.”
Thefive love languageswere outlined by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in the classic relationship book,Love Languages.