Sometimes you go on a date that sweeps you off your feet.
Other times, you’re counting down the minutes until your dinner is over.
Here are 15 questions to ask yourself after a first dateand what you should do with your answers.
Did the conversation flow easily?
First, look at what your conversations were like.
Did they feel forced, were there uncomfortable silences, or did the conversation flow without a lull?
Did you (genuinely) laugh at all?
“Genuinely laughing is important when out on a date,“dating coach Laurel Housetells mbg.
Was there any sexual chemistry?
Ask yourself whether the other person was attractive to you.
“This doesn’t necessarily mean physically, but were you drawn to them in some aspect?”
“Was there some chemistry?
This can develop, but it can be telling if it is not initially present.”
Did your date ask you questions?
Did your date actually seem to listen to your response?
Sure, they may have asked the right questions, but did they actually listen to your answers?
Did they follow up with meaningful questions, or just switch the conversation back over to them?
“Feeling talked over or dismissed can be a huge red flag,” says Bos.
“It is unpleasant and no doubt a sign of things to come.”
How did you feel while you were with them?
“Check in with yourself and how the date made you feel,” says House.
“Did you feel calm, happy, interested, bored, inspired, not good enough, great?
Is it something that they did or said to make you feel that way?
Or did that feeling come out of you for some other reason?”
What are their core values?
What side of your personality was shining while with them?
Different people bring out different sounds of ourselves.
Were you interested in hearing more?
Take a look at how you felt once the date was over.
“People often date because they are lonely at the moment when they are not busy.”
Is this someone you might bring around your friends and family?
“A recent client said she knew after a half-hour there’s no way her dad would like him.
She wants a guy who can hang with her dad when visiting.”
Can you trust this person?
“You get a feel for people pretty quickly,” says Concepcion.
“In fact, you could feel it in your body when someone seems a bit shady.
Were they respectful to you?
Did they show respect for your time?
Offer to split the bill?
“Disrespectful behavior on date one would be a huge red flag,” says Bos.
What would your day-to-day life be like with this person?
Do you have compatible schedules?
Do you have similar likes and goals?
How would this actually work in the nonromantic parts of life?
What are your dating goals?
If most of your answers are positive, the ball is in your court.
“It is also OK to go out again if you are curious or need more information.”
However, you do want to pay attention to the punch in of questions that have negative answers.
“This can sometimes bring a world of clarity.”
