What is a red flag?
Give it an absolute, 100% no," he says.
(Here’s our detailed guide onhow to leave an abusive relationshipif you’re in one.)
“In a healthy relationship you support and encourage one another,” Nunez says.
Active addiction
Another red flag Nunez and Page agree on is active addiction.
Watch out for behavior like frequent binge drinking or other substance abuse.
Untreated mental health issues
Similarly, and often corresponding to addiction, is untreated mental health issues.
(On that note, here’s our guide ondating someone with depression.)
“It needs to be stabilized, and they need to be working on it,” he adds.
Inconsistency
A healthy relationship should feel safe and consistent, not like a roller coaster.
According to Nunez, inconsistent behavior is a red flag indicating this person will not be a reliable partner.
Possessiveness
Page notes possessiveness really ranges on a spectrum from normal to unhealthy.
Even if someone doesn’t have full-blownnarcissistic personality disorder(NPD), they can still exhibit narcissistic traits.
Page notes this is a big red flag.
Emotional unavailability
Someone who isemotionally unavailablemay indicate so in a variety of ways.
Are they demeaning and talk down to you, or do they lift you up?
Anger issues
Similar to fighting, take note of any anger problems, Nunez and Page say.
When to address it vs. when to get out.
If your gut is telling you loud and clear that this isn’t going to work, walk away.
Don’t stick around forcing a square peg into a round hole.
Do you recognizeyour own relationship patterns?
Nunez and Page both agree this is crucial.
Similarly, you want to recognize your owntriggersif you’ve been hurt before.
What you might perceive as a red flag could very well be a projection, Page notes.
It’s also important to understand the difference between workable differences and nonnegotiables, Nunez explains.
Know you deserve what you’re looking for and never have to settle, Nunez adds.
Their insight can help you see things clearly when you’ve got your blinders on, he adds.
With all these things considered, it then comes down to communication.
When you bring up your concerns with this person, how do they respond?
Are theywilling to work on itand actually follow through?
Can they communicate effectively and displayemotional intelligence?
If not, Nunez and Page say it’s unlikely to be a successful relationship.
Long story short: “If you’re not sure, talk to the person,” Page says.
The bottom line.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
They’re available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
it’s possible for you to also speak to them through a live private chat ontheir website.
