Today, our understanding of bisexuality has evolved along with our understanding of sexual attraction and gender identity.
The word “bisexual” is a perfect example of this shift.
What doesbisexualmean?
Bisexuality is not binary.
How common is bisexuality?
Common misconceptions:
Myth No.
1: Thebi-inbisexualrefers to the traditional gender binary.
“However, bisexuality does not mean attraction to cis-male and cis-female [people] only.
It could also encompass romantic, emotional, and sexual attractions to nonbinary people,” he explains.
Myth No.
2: Bisexual people are attracted to everyone, all the time.
This is another harmful stereotype, according to Graveris, even though it’s rarely accurate.
It also doesn’t automatically mean they’ll be more sexually promiscuous.
Myth No.
This is false and also continues the binary of sexuality and gender.
“Neverinvalidate your bisexual identity, feelings, and experiences.
Remember that no two bisexual experiences are the same,” he emphasizes.
“Bisexuality is a unique identity.
Your bisexual identity is valid.Youare valid.”
Myth No.
4: Bisexual people are more likely to cheat.
It’s also a common belief that folks who identify as bi are more likely to be unfaithful.
Graveris says there’s no evidence pointing out that bisexuality and cheating go hand in hand.
“Bisexual people build relationships just like any other person.
Being faithful is a choice; cheating is a choice, regardless of gender,” he says.
Signs you may be bisexual:
You have conflicting feelings toward another gender.
Rest assured that “these feelings are entirely normal.
“Perhaps you’ve started noticing attraction to both or any gender when you were younger.
Although these two examples don’t immediately mean you’re bi, they could be good indicators.
You fantasize about people of different genders.
You see yourself having a long-term relationship with someone, regardless of gender.
Visualizing having a long-term partnership with someone of any gender is a good sign that you’re bi.
The “bi” label resounds to you.
You take the stigma personally.
How bisexuality relates to other identities.
Bisexual vs. pansexual.
Bisexuality andpansexualityare incredibly closely related and sometimes even used interchangeably.
Some people embrace both, while some prefer one over the other.
Their attraction is to the person, regardless of their gender.
Asexualitymeans there is a lack of sexual attraction and/or desire toward others in general.
“you could also identify as both asexual and another sexuality, leaving it open-ended.
Some people call thisgraysexual, and it signifies very little sexual attraction,” Jones says.
In other words, yes, you could be both bisexual and asexual.
Romantic orientations.
So, a person could be heterosexual butbiromantic, for example.
Other terms to know.
These terms and many, many more can be found in our hugeglossary of sexual identities.
What’s the point of all these labels?
On the other hand, labels aren’t the only way to feel this way.
Some folks feel like there aren’t any labels that feel good to them.
So, if you’re having a hard time connecting to labels, Menezes suggests ditching them altogether.
“Sometimes folks grow and evolve, and finding new labels that match the experience can feel exhausting.
You get to choose what feels right for you.”
Dating when you’re bisexual:
Be true to who you are.
“Do not let societal pressures shame you for your personal sexual preferences.”
Be prepared for questions (and ignorance).
But remember, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
There are people in the world that are simply behind the times, says Jones.
Take it slow.
Jones also recommends taking things slow.
But heythat’s how dating goes regardless of sexuality!
Create a list of nonnegotiables.
This pressure can then cloud your judgment when it comes to finding the right person,” says Jones.
Supporting the bi+ community.
“Biphobia is a form of homophobia toward folks who identify as bisexual or bi.
It’s important to challenge harmful beliefs and stories society has created around bisexuality.
Often this leaves folks who identify as bisexual feeling invalidated in their experiences and identity.
It’s also important to educate yourself.
Interact with bisexual folks, creators, and resource centers.
you could start by spending time on websites such asBisexual Resource CenterandBi.org, Gravely says.
The takeaway.
If you think you might be bisexual, then take some time to explore the idea.
See how the label feels.
It’s also important to know that you don’t need to claim a label immediately or ever.
Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey of self-discovery.
