In the case of verbal abuse, it can be particularly tricky to spot.
So, we asked experts for their best advice on identifying verbal abuse, plus how to handle it.
What is verbal abuse?
“Verbal abuse is all about power,” she explains.
It’s about manipulating the vernacular, to get to keep somebody submissive."
How to tell when the line is crossed.
We’ve all said things we’re not necessarily proud of, so what exactly qualifies as verbal abuse?
But as Yusim notes, it’s important to distinguish between those kinds of things.
No, that probably isn’t," she explains.
(Here’s more onhow to recognize when criticism is going too far.)
Threats
Any sort of threat counts as verbal abuse, Neo adds.
This could mean threats to your physical safety, the relationship, or even the abuser’s safety.
It often involves phrases like “That didn’t happen” or “You’re being dramatic.”
Outright insults
Blatantly insulting someone or attacking their character is another example of verbal abuse.
Repeatedly over time, you might even start to believe them.
Neo adds that we all want to improve ourselves, so feedback is welcome.
“They’ll flip the scenario to where it’s the other person who’s selfish, for example.
It’s crazy-making,” she notes.
Deflecting blame is also a telltale sign ofnarcissismjust FYI.
Passive aggression
Abusers can also usepassive aggressionto manipulate their victims, Yusim says.
Accusations
Yusim also notes that repeated accusations are also a form of verbal abuse.
more than likely you’re in some throw in ofemotionally abusive, verbally abusive relationship."
How to deal with it & seek help.
So it’s important to get back in touch with your own inner voice.
“I recommend journaling about it when it’s fresh, so you have records.
Because memory is malleable, and you may talk yourself out of it,” Neo suggests.
Ask yourself if you would let this happen to your best friend or child, she adds.
Yusim adds you could also explain ways they can adjust their communication to be nonviolent.
(Here’s a list ofgo-to comebacks when someone is gaslighting you).
From there, if the person doesn’t change, it’s likely time to cut the cord.
It’s free and totally confidential.
Sometimes it takes someone outside the situation to make a victim realize what’s happening, Nunez adds.
