As humans beings, we rely on each other to survive.
In fact, in hunter-gatherer cultures, rejection by the tribe means certain death.
So no wonder we care about what other people think!
So, how do you know if you’re too afraid of what others think?
Here are some red alerts:
You fail to speak your truth.
I’m not suggesting you should probably speak every thought you think.
Some people are just plain rude under the guise of “speaking my truth.”
Plus, you violate your soul.
You become a social chameleon.
And sometimes you’re right.
The price of authenticity is that you won’t comfortably fit in everywhere.
You lie.
(“You think that other woman is hot?
How dare you!”
Of course, women are guilty of lying and men are guilty of shaming her truth, too.
You apologize for everything you like.
Like, “Yeah I listen to 80’s hair bands.
I know, it’s stupid.”
Then you find yourself pretending to agree with them.
They say, “Oh, I love Lady Gaga.”
And you say, “OMG, I love her too!”
Even though you don’t.
That’s just fear in a Little Monster disguise.
You forget that the ones who really love you just want YOU, not some copycat version of you.
You avoid social situations.
But introverts still crave community and will withdraw from even the most nourishing social environments if they feel afraid.
You hide your quirks.
You’re a Mets fan in the middle of San Francisco.
You’re at Fashion Week in Manhattan, but you’re a sucker for hoodies and Ugg boots.
Doing so activates stress responses that areharmful to your body.
But it also keeps others from recognizing the unique quirks that connect us.
You’re constantly wondering what the other person is thinking.
You slip into perfectionism.
Striving for excellence is a property of the soul, a yearning to fulfill our purpose impeccably.
But perfectionism stems from fear fear of rejection, fear of not being enough, fear of abandonment.
You dim your light.
Think of all the times you’ve had great news to share.
You want to shout it from the rooftops!
But you don’t.
Because you’re afraid it’ll sound like bragging.
Or you’re worried someone else will judge you.
Or you’re concerned that you’ll make someone else jealous.
So you turn down the dial on your sparkle.
But when you do, you rob us all of the gift of your light.
And Lord knows, we can use a little more light in the world the light of the realyou.
You wear masks.
You fragment your identity.
You act one way when you’re with the mothers.
You act another way when you’re with your business colleagues.
Then your whole life becomes a love letter to that true self.
After all, that’s just the Divine manifesting through you as the pure essence of who youreallyare.
Which is much too beautiful, precious, and unique to hide behind a mask.