If these situations sound familiar, you may be experiencing emotional detachment.
What is emotional detachment?
Even though you may physically be in the room, you’re mentally detached from people and their emotions.
Emotional detachment can be a normal, voluntary strategy to set clear boundaries.
Like most things in life, balance and moderation are key.
If you struggle with emotional detachment, it’s likely you have difficulty maintaining relationships in your life.
What causes it?
Common signs of emotional detachment.
Your friends and family may share deeply personal stories about what they’re going through.
You disconnect in the face of conflict or social situations.
When people are crying, you may find yourself reaching for your phone.
Another tell is you might find yourself laughing at painful stories and experiences, says Tran.
In general, you lack relationship skills.
Forming significant bonds with people means you have to show you care.
You have difficulty identifying feelings.
You only know your emotions feel unpleasant and uncomfortable.
It’s not easy to share what you’re going through.
Even when you’re alone, you’re stillemotionally unavailableto yourself.
You would rather distract, intellectualize, and stay clear of them.
Not feeling real is a common occurrence.
Depersonalization is when there’s a persistent feeling that you or your surroundings aren’t real.
People, events, and things may seem foggy and removed.
It doesn’t seem like you really feel anything at all.
You have difficulty naming your needs and wants.
Boundary-setting is hard.
You’re critical toward yourself.
Ziskind says emotional detachment can contribute toward a large inner critic and a lack of motivation to complete tasks.
Being hypercritical leads to perfectionistic tendencies and a distorted belief that you are not good enough.
You don’t like taking compliments and praise.
Being able to sincerely receive praise from others means you’re able to accept the positives in yourself.
But for people who experience emotional detachment, you might feel awkward or tense expressing happiness with the compliment.
Instead, it may be easier to sidestep the comment and deflect.
Overcoming emotional detachment.
Overcoming emotional detachment can’t happen until you might identify your emotions.
Tran advises to start off slow.
It’ll be a gradual process to embrace emotions previously seen as intolerable.
This can happen with yoga, painting, art therapy, and animal therapy.
This can come in the form of positive affirmations such asI am safe in this moment.
It’ll help co-create fulfilling relationships where you both feel seen, heard, and understood.
