Maybe the realization just suddenly hit you like a ton of bricks.
Or maybe you’ve known for a long while but you just haven’t wanted to name it.
Can the relationship be fixed, or is it all over?
Is it just a stressful time, or am I truly just unhappy in this relationship overall?
Signs of an unhappy relationship:
You just feel it.
The point is, something feelsoff.
You don’t need to find a “valid reason” for your unhappiness.
You don’t feel safe.
(We’ve got a five-minutequiz that will tell you if you might be in a toxic relationship.)
You don’t really want to be around your partner these days.
Sometimes you may even actively prefer to avoid them.
You’re less interested in sex than you’ve been.
Another sign of an unhappy relationship?
“We may not be as interested in sex,” says Zimmerman.
(Here’s ourfull guide to sexless relationships.)
Communication is nonexistent.
Nonexistent communicationis another sign of an unhappy relationship, says Jackson.
You feel like your relationship isn’t balanced.
A lack of reciprocity can contribute to feeling unhappy in a relationship, says Jackson.
You feel your boundaries being crossed.
Even romantic partners need boundaries.
You feel distant.
Sometimes unhappiness in a relationship presents as distance, according to Zimmerman.
We should check in regularly."
You feel disrespected.
You feel like you’re losing yourself.
Last, and perhaps most importantly, sometimes unhappiness looks like a lossthe feeling of losing yourself.
What causes unhappiness in relationships?
We can coast, in a way.
“This is when we are called on to work, to grow, to change.
To care about what our partner needs and for them to care about us.
This is a natural flow through our life together.”
Talk to your partner about what needs to change.
Next, it’s time to talk to your partner about what you’re feeling.
“Share your concerns without blame,” she says.
“Approach them as a partner, getting on the same page to solve the issues.”
Look for change behavior.
Are they putting in the work to give a shot to get better at meeting your needs?
Are they open to growing and learning?
“Seeing if there’s some pop in of change behavior is crucial.
Long-lasting change,” Jackson adds.
Take accountability.
One of the biggest examples of change behavior is taking accountability, says Jackson.
I’m so sorry.
I didn’t know that that hurt your feelings.
Next time I won’t do that.
I’ll try this," she says.
Consider therapy.
Recognize when it’s not working.
How do you know when it’s truly time to give up and end things?
That you have expressed yourself well, without attacking your partner.
That you’ve tried repeatedly to express your concerns.
That you’re equally interested in your partner’s happiness."
Give yourself permission to leave.
You don’t need to wait until things are so bad that they’re unbearable.
If you’re unhappy, that is reason enough to leave.
You have the right to chase your happinesseven if it means letting go of someone you love.
A note about the connection between happiness and relationships.
Relationships can have a huge impact on a person’s overall happiness.
That said, Jackson points out that it’s important not todependon your relationship for your happiness.
“Happiness is an internal job, which means that nobody can make you happy.
Nobody can steal that from you,” she says.
FAQ
Is it normal to be unhappy in a relationship?
In that sense, it’s normal to have periods of unhappiness in a relationship.
Can you love someone and still be unhappy?
Yes, you could love someone deeply and yet still be unhappy in the relationship.
What if I’m unhappy in the relationship but scared to leave?
Don’t let the fear of the unknown keep you trapped in a situation that’s ultimately draining you.
What do you do when your partner is unhappy in the relationship?
There may be solutions that can help your partner find joy in the relationship again.
After all, you both deserve to be in happy relationshipswith someone who is happy to be with you.
The takeaway.
To some extent, experiencing brief periods of unhappiness in a relationship is inevitable.
That said, unhappiness should not be the norm or the accepted status quo.
“Remember that a relationship should be a win/win situation,” says Zimmerman.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
They’re available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
you’ve got the option to also speak to them through a live private chaton their website.
