Intimacy to a relationship is like breath to your lungs.
When we think of intimacy, we think physical touch and sensual pleasure and we should.
What not everyone realizes is that intimacy needs to start from a foundation of intrinsic value.
That leads you to a deeper understanding and appreciation of each other.
So, how do you create that feeling of closeness when your relationship is new?
I tell my clients to focus on creating the perfect blend of safety and risk.
Make it safe enough to be vulnerable and let go, and just risky enough to be exciting.
I know, this might leave you feeling panicky I recommend creating a safety net first.
see to it you have support and trust before taking these risks.
Intimacy can be built only once we feel safe.
The first ingredient is trust, which requires emotional attuning, cultivated through meaningful dialogue.
Trust can be built and broken in everyday conversations.
Here’s how to start building that intimacy.
Remember that intimacy is the opposite of fear.
We’re so used to small talk that we sometimes don’t know our partner at all.
Balance challenge and support.
Speak to the best in each other.
Fear doesn’t need to run your relationship.
Instead, operate from the best in you, bringing forth the part of you wanting a better relationship.P.S.
This is where the best sex of your life comes from.
Develop an attitude of gratitude.
Focus on how grateful you are for the considerate things your partner says and does.
Happy partners make a point of noticing even small opportunities to say thank you rather than focusing on mistakes.
Test the water before you dive in.
Craving deeper, more open communication with your partner?
Work on becoming a self-aware and nonjudgmental listener.
The more you do this, the easier it gets.
Practice being sensual without being sexual.
Sleeping naked next to each other forces us to engage in a small amount of daily skin-to-skin contact.
It’s a great (and a really fun) shortcut to more intimacy.
you could also feed, bathe, or massage each other.
Eroticism occurs in the space between self and other.
If we’re depleted, we’ll never feel desire.
Schedule play dates with your partner(s).
The only goal is to have fun!
This means no serious discussions or talk of work.
Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to have sex, and no one’s grading you.
This one might surprise you.
Desire is bound up with a healthy dose of entitlement and deserving.
What doyouneed to feel awesome?
Put your phone away …
… for a little while.
I challenge you to ban phones from the bedroom.
Stop snooping on what everyone else is doing and focus on your own relationships.
Stay connected to the most important person of all YOU!
Not wanting to let people down can make us afraid to say no.
It’s important to step back and stay centered looking after ourselves first.
Eroticism occurs in the space between self and other.
If we’re depleted, we’ll never feel desire.
Prioritize what turns you on.
Don’t be afraid to talk about what pleases you and what you want to try in the bedroom!
Once you’ve talked about it, try it.
People worry about whether they’re weird or abnormal.
The best guide is the one inside you it knows what you want.
How have you created intimacy in a new relationship?
