Having an orgasm is natural.
So is skipping, for instance.
That doesnt mean youre born knowing how to skip; it means youre born with the capacity to learn.
There was a time when you didnt know how to skip.
The same is generally true for orgasms.
Theyre still learning how.
But it sure is a fun game, and everybody deserves a chance to try it.
(Here’s our guide onhow to make a woman orgasm.)
They believe they’re just not a woman who has orgasms.
There probably are women whonever orgasm everin their whole lives.
They dont want to.
Maybe its because theyve had a long, hard day, and its just not worth the effort.
Maybe they enjoy the pleasure of arousal all on its own, without the goal of orgasm.
And you know what?
Sometimes a relationship isnt in a place that makes orgasm seem like a good idea.
(Yes, there’s such a thing as abad orgasm.)
Theyre not pre-heating the oven.
That said…
5.
Theyre not getting enough clitoral stimulation.
Women worry about nothaving orgasms during intercourse, especially.
But actually less than a third of women are reliably orgasmic from penetration alone.
Theyre not taking enough time.
Orgasms are like childbirth: they take as long as they take, and each one is different.
Their partner is in the room or their partner isnt in the room.
or What if my partner is bored?
or What if Im not even doing this right?
Theyre still recovering from trauma.
Start on your own, figuring out what you want and what your body needs.
Theyre worried about their body.
Even more common than trauma are the body-shaming cultural messages that distract womens attention.
The question to ask yourself when these thoughts emerges is, Why does it matter?
(Here’show to start to love your body, even when it’s hard.)
Theyre worried about their orgasm.
Oh, the irony.
The more aroused they get, the closer they get to orgasm, the more they worry.
What if I dont have an orgasm?
and What if I do have an orgasm?
and Will I even know if Ive had an orgasm?
and Are my abs supposed to be shaking like that?
and Is this what its supposed to feel like?
Am I sure I like how this feels?
Once you learn how, your body never forgets.
And everybody deserves a life so full of joy that they can do it when they want to.
